Why Helping Others Helps Ourselves
Stephen Trzeciak M.D. and Anthony Mazzarelli M.D., authors of the book, Wonder Drug: 7 Scientifically Proven Ways That Serving Others Is the Best Medicine for Yourself, pose the question:
If there were a drug with no side effects that research showed resulted in enhanced resilience and happiness, better health and less risk of anxiety and depression, would you take it?
The answer seems obvious.
And what about children? If research showed that such a drug would also result in higher self-esteem, better academic performance, and more success in their adult careers, should it be given to them, too?
Again, the answer seems obvious.
Happily, there is such a drug, but it’s not a pharmaceutical. Instead, it’s the simple act of engaging in helping others.
Make a Difference
In today’s world, where young people are experiencing alarming rates of anxiety and depression, and are often exposed to (if not bombarded with) examples of people acting out the worst in human nature, the need to counter these influences is pressing. The key to helping children develop a healthy sense of self-esteem, researchers are discovering, is not to give them empty praise and compliments but rather to enable them to experience genuine accomplishment. That might mean achieving a goal (virtually any goal), developing a talent, or “making a difference” by contributing time and effort to helping others who are in need.
Illustration by Yana Holubiatnikova
In Freedom Pancakes for Ukraine, Hannah is saddened and unsettled by the plight of Ukrainian children caught up in war and their situation weighs on her mind. However, when she figures out a way to help them, she turns her attention to raising money rather than focusing on her own worries and uncertainty. Though she may not know it, her actions in service of others are helping her, too.
Parents As Role Models
One last, important observation: In The Altruistic Personality, Samuel and Pearl Oliner’s book examining rescuers of Jews in Nazi Europe, the Oliners concluded that the actions of these rescuers, who often literally risked their lives because they thought it was “the right thing to do,” were largely prompted and sustained by the values taught them by their parents’ words and deeds. Dr. David Rosenhan, a psychologist who conducted ongoing research for a number of years to determine what prompts altruistic and compassionate behavior, arrived at the same conclusion—that altruism is often profoundly influenced by parental models. Parents need to be mindful of this.